oh how i wish inboxed messages had time/date stamps 

My history professor asked who we wanted to have as the next pope and I chimed in Oprah and my prof just stands there laughing for a solid minute before he whispers

Poprah

 #YOU’RE GETTING SAVED #YOU’RE GETTING SAVED! #EVERYBODY HERE IS GETTING SAVED!!!

IT GOT BETTER

#If you look under your chairs you will find a brand new key…TO SALVATION!!!!

catsfurever:

moogles4ever:

catsfurever:

$20 for a selfie with me

but I can go to the dumpster for free

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colossal-sweat:

walking out of a bathroom with no hand dryers like

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